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Welcome to the Dunkertown Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Anything -
Cats Page. As you may have read on our main page, it is the hope of the Society to keep our residents safe from abuse of any kind. Although originally started in 1971 to preserve our declining population of Rigelian Louseworts; a rare plant which only blooms during the full moon; it has since been extended to cats, foxes, moose, bears and even homo habilus. Debate still rages whether our chapter should also include dogs but when a meeting was held to discuss this, one of the dog owners was out of town and the other refused to appear alone. This specific page is dedicated to cats; both domestic and wild. Domestic cats are considered an integral part of our community for their ability to catch mice, the few species of dangerous birds; [foobird as an example] and bugs. In 1994, a town ordinance was passed requiring domestic cats to be leashed or fettered when outside their abode. Many of the residents were distressed at this but the Society is pleased to announce that in the intervening years, only two domestic cats have met with an untimely end. One was killed when she became too curious about an ungrounded wire and made the mistake of biting it. The other apparently overdosed on our locally grown catnip and decided to end it all by diving into an empty swimming pool. Both will be sadly missed. One of the local wild cats is the so-called Fisher-cat; similar in size to a lynx but as feral and ferocious as a lion. There is also purported to be a hybrid of the house cat and Fisher-cat. It is believed that this population is declining and will eventually become extinct. None have ever been seen but symptoms noted before the leash law was introduced were female cats who had difficulty walking after an evening out. Additionally they never seemed to stop purring. Contributions are not accepted at the Society as our entire budget is paid by our local sponsors. Higher than a Kite catnip is our commercial venture and we export approximately two tons annually. Whatever debit remains is always paid by Buster Gutt; proprietor of the Road Kill Grill where what's on the menu ususally isn't what's on the menu. However, the Society has agreed to sponsor an annual charity to which you may forward any and all endowments. This years sponsor is S. O. H. They are a multi-national charity whose sole purpose is to eliminate one of the most devastating cripplers of cats. Their hope is that by the year 2010, science and technology can find a way to Stamp Out Hairballs. Please support them. |