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If you own more than four pair of gloves. If every other vehicle is a 4X4. If camping is allowed, it's only in steel sided campers. If you know your neighbor's name as well as his children and half of his pets. If, when the sun goes down, you start looking for your coat. If in March your vehicle is 43% mud. If you only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco. If Halloween costumes fit over parkas. If you have more than one recipe for moose. If you think sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons. If the four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction. If you leave your keys in your car and the next morning your car is still there. If you're on the shoulder of the highway with your hood up and somebody stops to help you. If you can pay for six big macs with a personal check. If drive by shootings only occur on the evening news. If your central heating system is fueled by large logs. If you see numerous chauffeur-driven dogs. If you can see the stars at night. If people drive 100 miles to shop in a real mall. If a deer throws itself under your wheels. If you got a set of new snow tires for Valentines day. If more than 1/2 the meat in your freezer is moose. If the term "wind chill factor" is part of your daily vocabulary. If the bumper jack in your pickup will lift a house. If you only paid $5 to cut down your own douglas fir christmas tree. If you enjoy a hot chocolate more than you do a margarita. If a girls basketball game fill's the school gym. If you put the car heater on your list of best friends. If you pawned a snow blower instead of a set of golf clubs. If dressing up means wearing a tie with your flannel shirt. If you think you're in a traffic jam when you're in the second car at the light. If you don't use your blinker because everyone already knows where you're going. If your long john's don't come off until mid-May. If you ask for directions and after thinking, a local tells you, "You can't get there from here.". |